it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
