shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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