He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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