I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
