If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
