soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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