apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
