but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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