He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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