I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
