True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
