I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
