So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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