What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize