oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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