His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
