I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
