Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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