And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
