dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
