he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
