Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
