its not stalking. its research.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
