quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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