I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
