Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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