uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
