so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
