Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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