would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
