Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
