the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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