Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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