i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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