Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
