Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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