I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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