College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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