Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
