they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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