I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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