he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
