I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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