Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
