Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
