apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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