He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
