that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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