Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
