No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
