you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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