cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
