I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
